Ejaculation By Command:

The Only Review You Can Trust - Written By A Sex Therapist

So just how does all this work?

 

Read on to find out more.

 


How do we define premature ejaculation?


You see, the thing is, men who DO NOT come too soon are actually able to control the point at which they ejaculate during sex.

They do this by staying aware of how aroused they are (and therefore how soon they might reach the "point of no return"), and they do it by changing their sexual behavior to slow down their orgasm (like thrusting slower or more shallowly into their partner's vagina).

And while that's part of the story, the other part of the story is that men with good control in bed simply don't get aroused as quickly as men who come too soon.

So the question, it seems to me, is - what could slow men down and stop them getting aroused so quickly?

The Treatment Of PE

If you want to take drugs to control the speed with which you ejaculate, this is not the website for you. (Why? Because Lloyd Lester's program Ejaculation by Command works very well without them.)

The fact is that heavy duty, high-powered drugs, originally designed for the treatment of mood disorders like depression, are not an appropriate way to control premature ejaculation. I mean, come on! You're talking about interfering with your brain just so you can last longer in bed. Does that seem reasonable?

If it does, then you can read a bit more about drugs at the bottom of this page. In the meantime, I want to emphasize that as far as I'm concerned treatment of PE depends on cognitive (that's to do with the mind, but in a good way) therapies, having good information about sex, and using a few sexual techniques which genuinely do help you to last longer in bed.

And of course Lloyd Lester's program, Ejaculation by Command, is all about changing what you do and how you do it, so you can last longer. This Ejaculation by Command review (see the home page) demonstrates very clearly the modern techniques that are available to any man who wants to actually exert total power and control over his sexual responses in bed.

Stanley Althof has written about the psychological treatment methods available for treating PE. Read it here.

Traditionally, psychotherapy and sexual counseling has been used to try and help men and their partners to improve male control.

Indeed, these are techniques that can be very powerful in helping men to gain control over ejaculation, increase their confidence about the how they perform in bed, to reduce performance anxiety, and  increase intimacy.

They can also deal with the interpersonal issues that can disrupt a relationship, modify rigid and uninspired sexual behavior, improve communication between partners, and finally start to deal effectively with feelings or thoughts that interfere with a man's sexual function.

Phew - I mean, how big an ask is all that?

Well, the truth is that while psychotherapy and counseling are extremely effective in controlling PE, very few men will actually explore them as a possibility. What most men need is a home treatment program like Ejaculation by Command, a program based on traditional counseling skills, NLP, self hypnosis and more.

Psychotherapy For Premature Ejaculation

Traditional psychodynamic therapy sees PE as a way in which a couple are expressing conflicting expectations, desires or hopes, or as an expression of suppressed emotion like anger, disgust or shame.

The truth is, there's a lot of sense to this: if a man holds a deep fear of women, the intimacy of making love is going to be very threatening. One way to lessen this discomfort is to make love for a short a time as possible. PE is a for the man to get away from the aversive stimulus that he basically dislikes or makes him feel uncomfortable.

By contrast, behavior therapists see PE as a conditioned response, as a way a man has learned to react to sexual stimulation, perhaps because as a teenager his early sexual experiences were shamed in some way.... so he decided to satisfy his unavoidable sexual urges by masturbating as quickly and furtively as possible. This is not a background likely to serve a man in later life if he wishes to extend the duration of intercourse.

So what's important about treating PE with a psychological approach? The answer depends who you talk to. Because at the moment you're talking to me, I'm going to give you my view. Others might disagree. But I see an eclectic approach, which takes aspects of many different disciplines and combines them into a hole as an effective way of dealing with the problem.

So it might be the man lacks information about sexual technique. That of course is easily provided. And if he's willing to discuss his tendency to quick ejaculation with his partner, then obviously some relationship coaching and improve communication is necessary.

If performance anxiety is contributing to PE, then a significant step forward is reducing the man's anxiety and helping him feel more confident in bed, and perhaps even more confident about the very thought of making love to his partner.

The truth is, there are probably as many therapeutic approaches as there are therapists. But what we know is that several things can make therapy more effective.

A man with premature ejaculation needs to be empowered so that he is in control of the process, and also so that he feels that any change in his sexual performance and ability comes from him.

In addition, the man must trust and feel safe with his therapist. And finally, the treatment should involve both him and his partner, and give them a reasonable and realistic expectation of the outcome of sexual therapy.

The truth is of course that you can take therapy is deep as you care to. Is it necessary to explore the past, you may be wondering? No. Not if you use the techniques in Ejaculation By Command.

Is Ejaculation By Command A Real Cure?

The Essence of A Cure

Many men with PE find that they have difficulty focusing on their level of sexual excitement, which they try to diminish by using desensitization ointment, masturbating before intercourse, distracting themselves, and a whole variety of other techniques which simply spoil sex for both partners.

Because by failing to focus on his arousal, a man is unable to judge how far away is from the point of ejaculation. Ironically, this makes him more likely to ejaculate sooner.

So one vital aspect of treatment is that a man becomes aware of how aroused he is. He can do that with a series of gradual behavioral exercises which teach him to identify different levels of sexual excitement.

A man could start this process with masturbation on his own, and move progressively to more arousing sexual situations with his partner. All of this would enable him to stay in the mid-range of sexual excitement for longer, thereby increasing and extending the time before he ejaculated.

A man's way of thinking might also be important. That's certainly one big aspect of the system described in Ejaculation by Command.

For instance, a man might come quickly because he has a belief system that "that's just the way it is for me". Yet the truth is that by intervening appropriately, and teaching him some more realistic thinking, a therapist can show a man how to last just as long as anyone else in bed.

Donohue and Miller reported that regardless of the therapeutic modality, or even the specific goals of an individual's therapy, the common factors that made therapy effective were all about a good relationship with the therapist, and a sense of self empowerment for the man.

Of course evidence-based medicine is the highest level of evidence that can support the effectiveness of any treatment procedure; unfortunately most psychotherapy treatments don't fall into the category of evidence-based medicine.

In some studies, the failure rate is as high as 75% even when the men concerned had discussed the problem with a partner, practiced the techniques, and knew the difficulties were likely to recur.

As a result the concept of relapse prevention is an important aspect of sex therapy -- in other words, a therapist should see his clients again and again to ensure that the techniques he has taught them are continuing to give the man power to control his ejaculation.

It's been suggested that integrating psychotherapy and medical treatment is going to be the most effective way of treating PE. Yet the truth is that men generally want to delay their ejaculation without the help of medication...

...and the problem is, they simply don't know how to do so.

However, teaching men the behavioral skills and techniques behind ejaculation delay without using drugs can be done easily.

In my Ejaculation by Command review, I reveal a number of techniques set out in the program which enable a man to reprogram his mind so that he doesn't expect to ejaculate quickly, but instead goes into the sexual relationship with absolute confidence about his ability to control the duration of lovemaking.

Something about drugs....

Drugs for premature ejaculation

A study by Professor Jon Pryor and others, including Stanley Althof, was designed to work out whether Dapoxetine was an effective and useful method of treatment for PE.

They conducted two 3 month studies as placebo-controlled, double-blind randomized trials over 121 locations in the United States. The subjects in the study were men who had what is defined as "moderate to severe" premature ejaculation, and they were offered 30 or 60 mg of Dapoxetine which they took between one and three hours prior to sexual intercourse.

Once again, intravaginal ejaculatory latency time (IELT) was measured by the man's partner using a stopwatch to get an idea of how long the man was able to thrust before he ejaculated.

You may not be surprised to learn that the researchers concluded that Dapoxetine was able to extend intercourse - but by how much, I hear you ask!

Well, from an average of less than 1.0 minutes to as long as - wait for it - 2.7 minutes for the men taking 30 mg Dapoxetine, and 3.32 minutes those taking 60 mg of the drug. Does that seem like a worthwhile increase compared to the risk of taking such powerful drugs?

Regrettably, however, I wouldn't consider 3.32 minutes (which in itself, when you think about it, is a ridiculous measurement, since nobody making love could possibly use a stopwatch to an accuracy of .02 seconds) a significant improvement in sexual performance.

And even worse, nausea was experienced by almost 10% of men on the 30 mg dose of Dapoxetine, and 20% of men on the 60 mg dose. Other common and rather unpleasant side-effects included headache, dizziness, and diarrhea.

Now tell me, do you seriously think that's a good way to cure for PE, or that perhaps it might be better to use the previously secret techniques now revealed in Ejaculation by Command as a way of controlling the speed with which you reach orgasm?

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